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Finding hope after a miscarriage

my journey with Finding Hope after a Miscarriage On May 3, 2017, the Lord decided that our third child was too precious for this earth and took him home to be with him in Paradise. To think that the first thing my baby saw was the face of Jesus is too amazing for my feeble mind to comprehend. Selfishly, I wanted MY face to be the first thing he saw, but God’s plans are not my plans and HE knows best… though sometimes I cannot understand his ways. It’s been two months since our baby was born in Heaven. In

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“These all died by faith”

When my dad asked me if I would like to speak at grandma’s memorial, I wasn’t sure where to even begin. I have so many wonderful memories of my grandma over the years. But just like with a book, sometimes if you just skip to the end… you can get the best summary of someone’s life. So I want to tell a little story about the last few weeks of grandma’s life from my perspective. A few weeks ago, I was standing in the Meijer toy aisle looking at model dinosaurs when I received a phone call from my mom.

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I am 1 of 8 – Infertility Awareness Week

“So this week is Infertility Awareness Week, and I am 1 of 8. One of eight… Did you know that is the number of couples that struggle with fertility, and did you also know that 1 of 4 pregnancies end in loss? With staggering statistics like this, we need to start talking about it a little bit. We need to talk about the hope that builds within in us every… single… month, and grief that bombards us month after month and year after year. You would think it would get a little bit easier seeing the negative pregnancy tests, but

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The Velveteen Mama

If you had asked 6 year old Shanda, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” She would have responded in innocent anticipation, “A mommy.” There are many noble aspirations for a little 6 year old girl, but to THIS little girl there was nothing more special than being a mom. Perhaps it was because I had such a wonderful example of what a mother should be. Perhaps it was the natural mothering instinct that was built into my very fiber. Perhaps it was the sight of sweet babies that made me want to hold one of my

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Dirt is heavy

I recently decided to take the kids on an adventure. It may have been a little ambitious packing up a 4 year old and 10 month old for a 2.7 mile hike by myself, but it was a beautiful 50 degree February day in Michigan and I was bound and determined that we were going to enjoy it. Sink or swim… at least we will have spent lots of time outside. My worst case scenario was endless crying for several hours while dragging/carrying a “my-legs-are-soooooo-tired” 4 year old back to the car. It was worth the risk. Sometimes life is

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When God Passes By

I recently read this parallel in the book One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp and I absolutely HAD to share it! Everything written here is my commentary, but the parallel I drew from her insight… Thank you Ann!  In Exodus 33, Moses is talking with God. Imagine… talking WITH God. Moses speaks and God responds, audibly! God tells Moses that he knows him by name and that he has found favor in his site. Rather than thinking, “Ok cool! God knows who I am! There are thousands upon thousands of people on Earth and he knows ME! Wow, I’m awesome!”

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